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Lurking Between Desire and Consumation
Impulse Arrested
Created on 2004-01-03 16:01:54 (#1774970), last updated 2007-03-12
1,218 comments received, 407 comments posted
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410 Journal Entries, 0 Tags, 0 Memories, 0 Virtual Gifts, 2 Userpics
| Name: | ultimateteddy |
|---|---|
| Birthdate: | 01-31 |
| Location: | United States |
Its when I forget that my name Lydia and I am going to be an actress that I doubt myself. That I feel any sort of uncertainty about my future. Its when I'm not sure that I can do what it is I want to do that I get scared, that I'm ever frightened. I am good. I'm fucking amazing I mean, I know what I want to do, and I'm going to do it. I can starve on the streets, I can fucking sell my soul, but as long as I can be actress, as long as that's possible, then there can really be nothing that wrong with my life. I mean, people matter, but there's more. There are so many daily shit, so much daily shit, so many tiny things that I can't stand that drive my crazy, that drive me insane. But then, it's the sky on the night of January 5th when I walk out of dance class that I look up at and I know that I'll see that same sky when I'm walking to the opening of my first off Off-Broadway play. It's why I live.
i fall apart. i walk into things. i think terrible thoughts. i'm an elitist intellectual snob who isn't intelligent enough to be called an intellectual. i am a ball of angst, dreams, and air. i act, i sing, i dance, but not well enough at any . i want to be an actress on Broadway or film, and i will be or die trying. i love passion. i'm tense, i'm pushy, i'm insane. but i care about as much as i can.
"I loved you. I was a pentapod monster, but I loved you. I was despicable and brutal, and turpid, and everything, mais je t;aimas, je t'aimais! And there were times when I knew how you felt, and it was hell to know it, my little one." ~ Lolita
i fall apart. i walk into things. i think terrible thoughts. i'm an elitist intellectual snob who isn't intelligent enough to be called an intellectual. i am a ball of angst, dreams, and air. i act, i sing, i dance, but not well enough at any . i want to be an actress on Broadway or film, and i will be or die trying. i love passion. i'm tense, i'm pushy, i'm insane. but i care about as much as i can.
"I loved you. I was a pentapod monster, but I loved you. I was despicable and brutal, and turpid, and everything, mais je t;aimas, je t'aimais! And there were times when I knew how you felt, and it was hell to know it, my little one." ~ Lolita
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